I’m guessing you don’t believe me. Well…you should because them sharks are getting too smart.I spoke to a local fisherman the other day. I forget what he said because I wasn’t paying attention but I remember a vision I had. Sharks were planning an attack on nuclear power plants in Southern PA…
Now you probably think that I was just day dreaming but I can assure you that I think I would know the difference. You have to be asleep to dream and I wasn’t asleep. For the most part. Where’s my evidence? (Some idiot asked.) There’s plenty of it…somewhere…I just have to find it.
We have to do something about this. What should we do? (Good question.) Well, we are going to fight sharks with the one thing they don’t like…a $4.99 rotisserie chicken from Walmart. I mean, have you ever seen a shark eat one. I haven’t. Therefore, they must hate them so we must use the chicken to fight back.
Where are the shark attacks going to take place? (STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS FOR ONCE!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!) The first location may be pretty obvious…Kansas City. “That’s not obvious.” Exactly. The reason that it is obvious is because it is not obvious therefore it is obvious. (Facts.) The second location is Andy’s Old Port Pub in Portland, Maine. This surprised me but the owner said that sharks come there all the time disguised in suits and mustaches. And finally…the last location…The dumpster behind McDonalds.
ANYWAY…sign up for my newsletter for more current news (Like seriously…go sign up) Stay tuned for the Spice Trade Ship positions that will be coming out shortly.
Anonymously,
Wild Wipes Draws