I have an uncle that is a wizard when it comes to volcanoes and he says that there will be plenty popping up all over the U.S. Most Insurance companies do not want to pay for volcano damage but I will. Today, I am introducing the Wild Wipes Draws Volcano Insurance Plan. The plan only costs $10 and is insured up to: 5+(sin2θ+cos22θ−1)(ln(e)−1)999/999.
This plan includes insurance for Western PA, flat parts of Ohio, nowhere in New Jersey or Indiana (cause they kicked me out already for various reasons), and Vegas. There is also the Advanced Ghenghis Khan North-Southern Taco Burger 300mg of caffeine shaved goat Australian bodybuilder who is skinny Caclulus 3 Romanian Plan which is $15 with the same benefits but it sounds wayyyyyyyyy cooler!!!!
Why should you sign up?
Volcanoes are devastating. just look at Pompeii. (I’ve contacted several victims of the Pompeii volcano incident in 79 AD, but I have not heard back from any of them. So details may be exaggerated…) One man named Stefan who was there at the eruptions said, “Utinam pecuniam meam in Assecurationem Vulcanicam a Mappulis Silvestribus ante eruptionem magni montis collocavissem. Sestertia multa nobis servavisset3.”
If you are interested, please contact my Doctor. You can also DM the Wild Wipes Drawing account and we will reply within 105.832 days (approximately. +- 239 days).
Anonymously,
Wild Wipes Draws
1 I have no idea
2 why these are here :(
3 May be exaggerated, but how will you knoiw for sure???????